What you want to hear

Back to the dating adventures of ME. I know I'm a little late with the blog this week but I'll probably write two this week to make up for it.

I actually had to read through some of my older blogs to make sure I haven't written about this before and to my surprise I haven't. Well sort of. I wrote about sincerity but not this aspect of it.

I'm 30 something years old and single. Never married, no kids, blah blah blah. That makes me a professional dater. Now the interesting part of having been a professional dater that makes me more of an expert on male - female interactions than any married man.

As a single male there have been plenty of times when I've gone long periods of time without seeing my significant other. A long period could be anything from a few days to months, depending on the dynamic and distance involved in the relationship. That means you're forced to have many phone conversations in between. Even if that conversation is just a few mins where you ask about eachothers day then experience the awkward silence it's still an obligation that one must fulfill. During that conversation you generally hear these words, "Do you miss me?". Now here's the problem. I'll just be honest with you, I hate that shit. If I wanted to tell you I miss you and mean it, you just took away the sincerity. If I say it now, it's because you want to hear it. That is unless I never want to be with you again, then I could say "no".

I might have been feeling it and waiting for the right moment to tell you I miss you but now you've taken that away. I've even told women that I don't like it, and they still do it. This isn't because they don't know if I miss them, it's because they need to hear it. I don't want to hear anything that you're not compelled to say on its own merit. I'd much rather hear nothing than anything just because.

Are you so in need of external gratification that you don't care what it is that I want? Are you so in need of external praise that you don't care if it's sincere?

Don't be mistaken, this isn't limited to women. In fact I've probably done it before. Although I can honestly say I can't recall ever asking if I'm the best, I've heard plenty of stories about men asking if they are. "Girl this is the best ever isn't it", "Where do I rank" etc. We ask if we're the best looking, best dressed, most desired and so on. Does it matter? You are together. The reality is that she/he wants you. The rest doesn't really matter. If they wanted someone else they would be with someone else. Get over it.

I can't even say I won't ever do this again because, I'll probably do it tomorrow (regardless of when you read this). When I do it, I might tell the person that I'm not feeling that they put me on the spot just so they can hear it, then again I might not. Either way I don't think anybody reading this blog is going to stop asking questions that they don't want the true answer to.

Many of my older family members taught me at a young age, don't ask a question that you don't want the true answer to. Hey if you don't ask me I won't have to lie to you.